But he’s careful not to come down on either side of the argument (which he explicitly acknowledges in the epilogue). Ansari observes that “The advantages of technology that facilitate regular dating (such as the ease of access and the absence of the pressure found in an in-person interaction) also transfer over to cheating” (188). For example, Chapter 6 “Old Issues: New Forms: Sexting, Cheating, Snooping, and Breaking Up” focuses on technology as a “new format” in “age-old issues like jealousy, infidelity, and sexual intimacy” (177). Ansari acknowledges that “in books like this it’s easy to get negative about technology and its impact” (242). He goes so far as to argue that “our romantic lives now inhabit two worlds: the real world and our phone world” (177). Modern Love is driven by a hypothesis that technology has led to changes in the way we ‘do’ love in the modern world, citing the statistic that in 2014 “the average American spent 444 minutes per day-nearly 7.5 hours-in front of a screen, be it a smartphone, tablet, television, or personal computer” (29). Nodell’s approach is rooted in historical issues and advice, but her frequent indication of the relevance of advice from the 1960s and 1970s for romance today is a reminder of the overarching, longer structures of behaviour, manner, and advice that are persistent over time. Wilby invites her readers to “hold each other’s hands and work out how to go about relationships in this scary, busy, digital twenty-first century” (8). Ansari states about Modern Romance: “I wrote this book because I wanted to better understand all the conundrums that come up in modern romance” (236).
The problems and the challenges of romantic love are themes shared by all three works.
Following allegations of sexual misconduct made against Ansari in January 2018, Modern Romance is also now unavoidably read in light of #MeToo (more on that later). Ansari’s focus is on technological development and its effect on love and dating in the digital era Wilby tackles the concept of monogamy and its function in Western society and Nodell presents relationship advice for young women from mid-twentieth-century US romance comics.
All three books share a common theme-the search for a successful romantic relationship-which they explore from different perspectives. Two are written by comedians-Ansari and Wilby-and Nodell’s book draws on historical content from American romance comics, itself an emergent heritage genre. The three titles above offer a more humorous, informal look at modern practices of love, dating, and relationships.
The literary fields of sociology, self-help, history, and popular culture have, for a long period, produced books about love and romance.
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